Creating moments of space

There's value in intentionally creating moments of space.

Stopping ourselves talking (filling the space) may feel uncomfortable, until we become more familiar with it. It's a skill we can practice.

I don't mean using space/silence as a power play.

I do mean pausing and creating space (and ease). This gives the other person time to think and let's them know you're listening should they feel drawn to stepping in.

It creates new possibilities to disrupt patterns, change conversations, deepen trust.

Early in my career this felt awkward and I would wonder: "Should I be offering thoughts? Easing the tension?" But I realised that the tension was partly my own. For the other, they are quite often just thinking and time disappears. I noticed when I am offered space by another, in a safe enough environ, time is less noticeable. Instead, it can begin to feel supportive, inviting, energising and creative.

Or alternatively, if there is some degree of tension, of challenge, that could be a good thing too. It too may promote a shift. If they realise you are offering space, and will not be giving direction, they may take up the "challenge” to consider their own thoughts, their own agency, and be braver?

And/or, you could voice your process, so the other understands your intention (and doesn't need to mind-read): E.g. "If I'm quiet, it's because I'm wanting to give you, or me, space to think or be."

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